Tag Archives: organizing

August is the New September

A week ago, I started a really funny blog entry about trying to explain the following joke to my kids:

What do the police use to arrest pigs?
Ham cuffs.
(This joke, by the way, is absolutely not funny if you don’t know what the words ham, hand cuffs, and arrest mean.)
That blog entry has been languishing, unfinished, along with a blog entry about why I love to go dancing at my favorite dive bar, and one about the Olympics. At the beginning of summer, August seems like part of the blank canvas of, well, summer. But then when August actually gets underway, I remember what I always forget: August isn’t the end of summer. It’s the beginning of fall. So I start writing, but then realize I have to finish something more pressing: the childcare schedule, the preschool registration forms, the gymnastics sign up, the ballet studio open house, the interdisciplinary college kick off event, and hey, wouldn’t this be the perfect week to repaint the upstairs of my house?
(My house, by the way, looks fantastic, thanks to my sister and my best friend, who came over and worked their asses off to help me repaint. I’ll post pictures, I promise.)
August gets me every time. I expect September to be stressful: preschool, kindergarten, ballet and gymnastics all start for my kids in September, the semester gets underway for me, T goes on a fishing trip. Mornings are no longer about sleeping in and eating waffles on the couch at 10 am; instead, we are rushing around, driving too fast, trying to remember all the backpacks and snacks and shoes and get the girls to their various destinations in time to make it to my own classroom with a minute or two to spare to clear my head. I’ve learned to anticipate the super stress of September. But August? The to do list sneaks up on me. Try on all the clothes in the drawers, then go school shopping. Go to all the local second hand shops to try and find gymnastics leotards in the right size. Pencils. Markers. Backpacks. Lunch boxes. School shoes. Ballet leotards. Tap shoes. Call my mom to go over the calendar, then T’s mom, then my mom again. Drive to campus for kick off events, professional development, training. Meet new faculty. Figure out, again, where I can put my bin of files and call my office for the year, or at least the semester. Oh, and update my own syllabi: this year, that includes a brand new prep, and one new book in each of my familiar preps.
I am never prepared. I want August to be last trips to the beach and hanging out in the garden and riding our bikes around the block (especially since D has suddenly, miraculously, embraced the idea of riding AS FAST AS SHE CAN!). I want to go buy new curtains that match my tart apple living room walls. I want to frame vintage cookbook photos for my marmalade and aurora orange kitchen. But fall is underway here, and it’s time for me to face it head on. Right now, that means finishing screwing all the outlet covers back onto the wall so my table is cleared off again for the laptop. Then I can make tomorrow’s to do list. August may have caught me surprise, but I’m not going down without a fight.

Just Write: Turning the tables

I bought a new table this weekend. I don’t normally buy furniture on impulse–the table didn’t even have a price tag on it. I had walked a couple blocks to check out some yard sales in my neighborhood, $3 and some quarters in my pocket. Standing in the driveway in the sun, the girls playing hide and seek in racks of old clothes set out on the grass, the baby in the stroller snuggling a new stuffed kitten acquired for a quarter at the last sale– I looked at the table and looked again at the glass knob on the drawer and touched the smooth white porcelain enamel top and asked the woman sitting at the umbrella table: is this for sale?
I have a small house and a small kitchen and a small table already. I called T: I want to buy this table. He asked practical questions: does it need to be painted? where will we put it? I did not have practical answers. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So I went back the next morning, wrote a check, sighed with relief when she stuck a sold sticker on it.
I cleared space in my living room, just inside the front door. Sitting here now, with my coffee and my laptop, I can see the baby in the kitchen in her high chair, munching cheerios. Just behind me, Lucy is sitting on the couch, wearing pajamas and pink plastic dress up shoes, eating Go Gurt, watching Dora save the Crystal Kingdom. Down the hall, Dorothy is still sleeping in the top bunk–I’ll see her when she peeks out her bedroom door and sleepily says good morning.
I have paint chips spread out next to the laptop: tart apple, marmalade, fire island red, bicycle yellow, carrot sticks, sweet midori, pepper grass, warm earth, wet coral. Greens, oranges, yellows, reds, browns. Fresh and bright. The table legs need to be sanded and painted in the next couple days, and there are a million other projects to be done, but now I’m imagining a fresh coat of paint in the kitchen too. What if I paint the kitchen cliff rock with a marmalade accent wall, and then I paint the table fire island red? What if I paint the accent wall yellow flash and the table June sun? What if I painted the cabinets polar bear white to match the table top? What if I paint the entire upstairs wooden cabin with tangerine dream accents, and then I paint the table fire island red?
I couldn’t explain the pull, the need when I was standing in my neighbor’s driveway, but sitting here now, the table makes perfect sense. I almost never sit down in the kitchen–I eat and write and make to do lists standing up at the counter, in between cutting the crusts off butterfly shaped cheese sandwiches and pouring refills of chocolate milk and finding another fruit strip in the back of the cupboard and peeling and cutting a banana for the baby and getting a fresh cup of water for paint with water books. I carry laundry upstairs and downstairs, take the trash out, let the dog in, wash the pots and pans that won’t fit in the dishwasher. But right now? I am sitting down. At my table. Indulging a fantasy of sunshower and marsh fern and tangerine dreams.

This is the picture I texted T from the yard sale. I’ll post a new one after I paint on Thursday.

Just Write happens every Tuesday at The Extraordinary Ordinary–it’s an exercise in free writing the extraordinary ordinary moments of our lives. Like impulse buying a vintage table you definitely don’t need and finding out it fits perfectly in that corner of your life you hadn’t noticed before.

Fresh Beats, Gators, Surrender

So I didn’t do much (okay, any) writing last week. But I promise, I wasn’t slacking!

What I did:

1.)    turned in my grades

2.)    spent 2 days in professional development seminars

3.)    went to my nephew’s track meet

4.)    planted lime basil seeds

5.)    hung out with my sister and her new baby

6.)    cheered for the otters at the zoo

7.)    cheered for Margeaux when she stood up for the first time

8.)    bought a new round squishy ottoman so Margeaux has a safe place to stand up

9.)    taught D and Lucy how to use a lint brush so they can clean the cat hair off the new ottoman

10.) chased the cat around to squirt peroxide on his gross open wounds twice a day

11.) vowed to never let the cat outside again Continue reading

Having a Baby as a Life Organizing Strategy

A miracle occurred in my house on Sunday: my two year old slept all night, by herself, in her bed. For the first time in her life.

Finally, she sleeps!

I’ve written about my children’s terrible sleep before, so this bears repeating: my twenty-seven month old daughter slept through the night for the first time last night. I remember that it was also April when my older daughter started sleeping through the night, too: something about the spring after turning two must flip a switch in the brains of my children that says, “Hey – sleep is grand. Let’s do it some more.”

This means I slept through the night, too! For the first time! In over four years! I woke up at 5 am and could tell that it was way later than I typically got to sleep before being called back to the kids’ room. I squinted at the clock to bring the numbers in focus and couldn’t quite believe it. Then I fretted in bed for thirty minutes, assuming that she had not woken up because ya know, she was probably dead.  Continue reading

(Chat) The Push-Pull of Motherhood, Careers, and Other Grown-up Pursuits

This week’s chat is our take on the whole Mommy Wars/The Conflict/work-versus-home dilemma we face. Ultimately, we agree that there needs to be less at stake for mothers who want to both be there for their kids and have a working life of some kind. We also wonder what alternatives there are to identifying through an occupation, and how do you become a “real” writer, anyway? Continue reading

Mothering by Default

I recently calculated my “Mom salary:”

Sorry it’s blurry. It says I am worth $117,780.00 IKR??!!

This is how much it would cost to replace me; but really, this model doesn’t add up. Because I’m not a great housekeeper or cook. I do not have the patience, persistence, or disposition for many domestic tasks. Knitting has too much math. I get bored and frustrated at home. I certainly don’t do enough housework well enough to earn the $18/hr we pay a local woman to clean our place on Friday afternoon. Continue reading

(Chat) PINTEREST: Thinspo-for-the-home or divine inspiration?

This is the first in a new feature on our blog, which I’m realizing as I type that we haven’t named. But whatever: it’s CHAT! Jen and I will get together once a week to talk about some topic on our minds, and then share it with you. We hope it’s just the start of a broader conversation.

This week: PINTEREST! Love it or loath it? Inspiration or desperation? Time-waster or under-ass-fire-lighter? Below, we wonder if some crafts are more like porn than creative acts, and if design boards are just thinspo-for-the-home. Continue reading

This is Not a Lifestyle Blog

I just read a fantastic article from Bitch Magazine’s newest edition, “Better Homes and Bloggers,” and it deeply resonated and spoke to me to the darkest depths of my blogging soul. Freelancing mama Holly Hilgenberg (great name) writes:

Both the appeal and the unease of lifestyle blogs are centered on the fact that, unlike more traditional forms of media like magazines, television, and movies, blogs are supposed to be real… This tension between authenticity and aspiration may be at the heart of why lifestyle blogs don’t just inspire readers, they also tend to bum them out… As one reader, Claudette, recounts: “I see her fucking noodle soup. And I feel like I should do that. And I don’t feel good. I feel like I should be perfect.” Claudette, who follows many style blogs, particularly those that reflect her own modernist sensibility and obsession with fashion and design, isn’t unhappy with her own life. But, she says, “I look around my house and I like the things I own…but it can never be good enough.”

I know Mama Nervosa is merely a week old, but this is not my first trip around the blogging block. This is my fifth or sixth attempt to create a blog with more than 4 readers (Hi, Mom!) despite the fact that for all of those blogs, I followed THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF BLOGGING SUCCESS which is DEFINE YOUR AUDIENCE: that is, find a niche and aggressively pursue it. I tried a budgeting blog (HA!); a mommy blog (fun for me, boring for everyone else); a hilarious TV blog (dang it, you have to actually watch a lot of TV to do that, preferably shows that are currently running and not outdated dregs on Netflix streaming); and even an aquarium enthusiast blog (it died when my fish did).

I sometimes worry that Mama Nervosa won’t be read because it is non-niche. We’ve written about screaming toddlers, grandmothers and peonies, and birth and car purchasing. OK; all of those topics have a thread of motherhood woven through them, but we promise to branch out into topics as diverse as our past lives as hippie fangirls, smokers, baristas, and teachers; crazy road trips with drug dealers and Frisbee throwers; quitting graduate school and near-death experiences; anti-hipster rants and commentaries on teen magazines from the early 90s. (So, far, though, we think the real NUMBER ONE RULE OF BLOGGING SUCCESS is USE FACEBOOK. It seems to be working.)

But the big premise behind all of this, the one thing we agreed upon when we hastily formed a blogging alliance via email after a transformative writing workshop, was that MN had to be about “messy life.” Continue reading