Tag Archives: Iowa

Country Mouse Commuter: Making Peace with 40 Miles a Day

I drive 40 miles every day, minimum. Out of our farm town, past the DQ and the body shop, into the rolling hills of the Iowa countryside. You might think Iowa is flat, like Nebraska or Illinois, but Eastern Iowa is part of the vast Mississippi River valley and our cornfields undulate like waves swelling before they crash on shore.

farm iowalake It’s gorgeous every single day.

Brian commutes north for about the same number of miles, so we’ve split the difference by buying a house halfway between where we both spend most of our time. We adore our little home, but hate the miles. Sometimes I have dreams that we’ve moved back to our college town and can hop on a bus, listen to music, and daydream for 15 minutes. No gassing up at Costco every weekend. No $100/month parking fee. No wear and tear on our aging Camry, the white steed we rode from our wedding and college days, now gray and rattling and rusty. No liberal guilt about greenhouse gasses.

But here’s what I do get from my commute.

Time with my girls. Every day we ride in the car, with nothing else for company but the radio. We practice choir songs, and because she’s in a phase of insatiable curiosity about everything under the sun, Robin grills me about evolution, anatomy, and the meaning of song lyrics. In conversation, we’ve strategized solutions to a number of pressing preschool issues: what to do when your friend is rude to you, how to teach the littler kids not to bite you, how to not be afraid of chickens (and now peacocks), what kindergarten will be like, how to be brave when your big sister is at school.

Perspective. The college town we commute to is pretty fantastic. It’s everything a college town ought to be: charming, walkable, full of cultural events and awesome bands, great food, a beautiful meandering river, excellent schools, and vibrant community for people of all stripes. While Eastern Iowa is a pretty mixed bag, politically, our college town is a bright blue beacon in the midst of a purply realm, and because it’s just so dang awesome, people tend to go there and stay there and not explore very much. Remember that episode of Sex and the City where Miranda ends up on a date with “Manhattan Guy,” a person who hasn’t been off the island for 10 years? It can be kind of like that in college town. College town has so much to offer that people don’t see a reason to drive 10 or 15 minutes away. When I mention that I live in farm town, people sometimes give me a look like, aww, that must be sad for you. What makes me sad, though, is that they’re missing out on the treasures that exist all around college town, under 30 miles away. Treasures like Baxa’s Sutliff Store and Tavern, a bar next to a bridge that doesn’t exist anymore (well, it’s being rebuilt) in a town that doesn’t exist anymore, where you can get fried green beans and staple an autographed dollar bill to the ceiling. Or the First Street Community Center in Mt. Vernon, an old school turned gym, business center, and take-one-leave-one open library and play area. How about the awesome fishing and hiking at any of the nearby lakes, or the south branch of the Cedar River, home to Palisades State Park and an observatory? Or Indian Valley Nature Center. Or New Bo? Or Beef Days? The list goes on and on. If I didn’t drive through the country every day, I wouldn’t have a sense that there’s so much out there, that every small own in rural Iowa has a gem (or a dozen) to offer, and usually with free parking. You definitely can’t say that about college town! And if you drive around and get to know the countryside, you avoid that tunnel vision that makes you sound like a jackass when you try to write authoritatively about it.

Quiet time. Just a little. Sometimes I turn off the iPod and crank the volume on NPR to a distant murmur, and drive around the block a few times before I pick up the girls, and just think. I might get a sweet potato cupcake from the bakery and eat it all by myself, sipping hot decaf with cream and letting the engine idle, just for a little while, before I walk up the slick steps and greet the girls who’ve already spotted the car and are waiting in the coat room.rainbow

Bread Crumbs: Thinking about the one year anniversary of Mama Nervosa

When Lauren and I met a year ago, we had a couple obvious things in common: we are both grad school quittas, raising young daughters who are close in age. We are feminists who love pop culture.

The more we talked, the more connections bubbled up: We are writers who didn’t have writing as a primary part of our identity or daily life. We have had intense relationships with music, fan communities, and hippie boys. We love reading and teaching young adult novels.

Mama Nervosa was founded when Lauren and I were saying goodbye, standing across a kitchen counter from one another: we should blog together, Lauren said, completely casually, as if this were not the most awesome, amazing, generous offer anyone could have made to me at that moment. Seriously, she could have handed me $100 and it would have been less awesome than an invitation to blog together.

Over the course of the past year blogging together, we have had several conversations about what exactly Mama Nervosa is: Are we a mommy blog? A feminist blog? A post ac or alt ac blog? Are we writers? But we can never seem to narrow it down to a single category or check box: we are messy, overlapping, we don’t fit.

Mama Nervosa is motherhood and memoir, quitta and adjunct and post ac, feminist and funny. We are not a reliable product: we have no posting schedule, no length requirements, we begin regular features and wander away from them.

If we have a narrative throughline, a recurring theme that links our posts on topics as varied as loving Neil Young, growing up in Tulsa, quitting grad school, teaching Adrienne Rich, missing the ice cream truck, and falling in love, it’s our willingness to expose the process. If Mama Nervosa has a core belief it’s this: if there is grace to be found in this world, we are more likely to stumble into it along the way than to see it shining brightly ahead of us at some mythical finish line. I’m writing it down as I go, trailing blog posts and cheerios behind me, grateful to be here now, even if I’m not sure where I’m going.

self portrait

Self portrait: blogger smooching baby. I looked for a picture of M and I around the time of the workshop last winter, and found nothing. Resolved: more self portraits in the new year.

Gallery

A Day In The Life of Lauren: November 8, 2012

This gallery contains 24 photos.

This gallery shares images from a regular old day in my life. Check out Iowa right after the election, see the graffiti in the alley I walk through every day, and watch me make enchiladas. Really, this covers about 10 … Continue reading

Home on the Range

I’m scheduling some posts in advance while we travel to Oklahoma for a much-needed break.

For anyone new to our blog (thanks to Jen’s fearless NaBloPoMo-ing!), I wrote a series of posts this summer about my conflicted relationship with my home state, Oklahoma (A Tulsa Memoir). It’s been about 6 months since I made that exploratory trip, before I got my current job, when moving there seemed like more of an imminent possibility.

The election offers a nice study in contrasts between our home now (Iowa) and our home then (Oklahoma).

Iowa ultimately went for Obama, but it’s a fairly even mix of red and blue counties. And many, many Iowa counties were closely divided (49/49, or 51/48).

Every single county in Oklahoma went for Romney. Even in counties considered more diverse and liberal (Tulsa, Cleveland) went for Romney 2:1.

It’s not that conservatism is bad. It’s just such a monoculture down there. And Oklahoma seems to need to be dragged into the future kicking and screaming. It’s hard to imagine progress when it happens at a glacial pace. I very much admire activists who keep the fire burning when facing such immense obstacles.

As I wrote then, it’s hard to give up an amazing, progressive state for a state with horrible weather and a culture largely organized against everything we value and believe. But we love so many people there. And there are still days when I think, if the right job came along…

It could happen.

PS — There are two petitions for Oklahoma to secede from the union following Obama’s election.

GOTV

One of the best things about living in Iowa was getting to caucus. In Michigan, like in most states, we have primaries. But in Iowa, folks still caucus, cramming into high school gyms and then dividing out into smaller rooms by candidate. Then each room sends a representative around to try and convince the people in other rooms to switch candidates, then there’s a period of time when you can switch, then the final results are counted and phoned in. It’s sweaty and ridiculous and glorious.

I moved out to Iowa in 1999, with no idea what I was in store for politically in the 2000 election. Not only did it seem like there was a presidential candidate perpetually in town, standing on street corners, shopping at Prairie Lights, eating at the Hamburg Inn, but it was the year of the Nader-traders, when Ralph Nader had those great black and white ads with kids talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up and voters in swing states were organizing to trade their Nader votes with voters in safe states.

And in Iowa City, there was Nader guy. He was a fixture on the ped mall, handing out literature, getting signatures on petitions. He seemed to be everywhere downtown, Nader guy, always trying to get me to sign something, reminding me to vote, talking up the Nader-trader websites. When I went to caucus, Nader guy was there, standing shoulder to shoulder with me in the crowd. When we had to nominate delegates for the convention, Nader guy volunteered. And perhaps weirdest of all, when I crashed my car attempting to turn left onto Highway 6 from the ShopKo parking lot, the guy in the other car turned out to be Nader guy.

I didn’t vote for Nader, but I admit that tonight I’m feeling nostalgic for Nader guy, and for Iowa politics, for the intensity, the crowded rooms, the necessity of coming face to face with your neighbors and talking about where you stand. I may have been unnerved by Nader guy’s near-constant presence in my life, but I had and have a tremendous amount of respect for his commitment, his willingness to  make his politics transparent, to stand on a street corner and try and make the world a better place.  I think for so many of us, what’s missing from this election is a sense of investment, a clear articulation of why this election matters to us, in our own voices. We circulate facebook memes and youtube videos, but we rarely speak from the heart about the issues closest to us.

For me, tomorrow’s election is about my family’s right to affordable medical care. It’s about the right of my friends and family members to marry the person they love, to seek employment and housing without discrimination and to serve openly in the military if they choose. It’s about my right and my daughters’ right to reproductive health care, including contraception and abortion, and our right to equal pay. It’s about Pell grants. It’s about the $200 per month we are saving because we were able to refinance our home under a federal program for homeowners who owe more than their home is worth. It’s about the world I want to live in and the world I want to raise my daughters in.

We will be at the polls early tomorrow, with all our girls, casting our ballots. And I trust that somewhere out there, Nader guy is voting too.

Watch the Nader ad from 2000. You won’t regret it.

 

 

 

Yes You Can (Vote — Please!)

Five years ago, I caucused in Iowa for the first time. It was a heady experience: we’re from a red state that’s gone Republican for every election since the dawn of time (maybe Roosevelt is the exception?) so even the right wing candidates skip it because, well, you just know how Oklahoma’s gonna fly. But Iowa is always a swing state, and always a game changer, and in 2008 obviously it was The Place To Be if you wanted to get 20 phone calls a day. We saw every Democratic candidate speak except Clinton, and met Joe Biden and his wife (really nice). I saw Obama speak in a hotel conference room and liked the cut of his jib, but we ended up caucusing for Edwards (before we knew he was full of complete shit) because we didn’t want him counted out when his platform was the most progressive of all the candidates. At our caucus, the Obama supporters filled over half of the auditorium. Edwards had about half of half, and the rest were scattered about in clumps. The Clinton supporters were annexed in this weird hallway and most of the time was spent seeing who was going to get the supporters of the groups too small to “count” for a delegate. In a surprise move, the Richardson folks threw their weight in with the Edwards people, and suddenly there was a bit of a coup. Our precinct was a microcosm of how the state went and part of Obama’s rush to victory.

I was 8 months pregnant with Robin.

In November, she was 8 months old and I kept thinking about how she’d be asking me about this experience for a report in History class someday. I voted early with a mail-in ballot, and spent voting day driving around high on the energy. Our polling place was a rec center packed with people, lines around the corner.

I had to write it in soap.

Tomorrow, I’ll spend the day in an office, seeing something like 80 students (exagerration: nevertheless, I inadvertently booked myself solid with only 2 20 minute breaks during the day). I’ll have to feel the buzz vicariously through feverishly updated Facebook and CNN homepages.

Tonight the girls and I held an election. I told them that everyone in our country has the responsibility to vote. I made ballots, and I told them they could vote for whomever they wanted. Our house went to the Obama-Holly-Robin team (versus Romney-Ryan — I should probably have added a fairy or princess to their side to balance the ticket), 100%, but who knows. When I was eight, I voted for George HW Bush because his name reminded me of Busch beer commercials (head for the mountain!), and when I was 18, I voted for his son in my first Presidential election so I could impress a boy. LAMEZ0RS.

I hope you vote. I hope you vote for Obama, but mostly, I hope you vote.

Summer in the Garden: June Blooms

Summertime is garden time in our family: fireflies and fairies live in the garden. We go out to the garden to pick tomatoes for salads and mint for mohitos, to lounge and drink cold home-brewed beer on warm evenings, to watch the bluejays and cardinals and finches and woodpeckers. The girls are learning to identify the flowers and birds; they pick fistfuls of pansies and Sweet William and we fill tiny vases and shotglasses for centerpieces at the kitchen table and their picnic table.

I started gardening in Iowa, the summer I moved into the adorable shack. While the tiny house was less than ideal in severe weather, it had a pretty (if neglected) perennial garden with an old-fashioned climbing rose, and a large space for a vegetable garden. I had almost zero experience gardening. My mom plants loads of pretty annuals every spring, sometimes she grew tomatoes in pots on the deck, and one year as part of a school science project we grew tomatoes from seeds that had been in space. But the Iowa garden was the first space that was really my own, and it was Iowa, after all: didn’t corn basically leap out of the earth in Iowa? Surely not much expertise would be needed to grow a few tomato plants in such rich, Midwestern earth.

This may have been my only assumption about Iowa that was absolutely correct: our gardens there were gorgeous, lush, with enormous tomatoes and fabulous lettuces and overflowing containers of pretty annuals. When T and I began house shopping after moving back to Michigan, we were hooked: space to garden was a must. Our gardens here have been through a variety of reincarnations; the latest version includes the fairy garden, of course, and a sitting area nestled in between raised beds with trellises for hops. My gardening style tends toward what I might call “crowded cottage garden:” I like my plants tucked in close to one another, leaves and blossoms overlapping.

I thought it would be fun to chronicle summer in the garden—here’s what’s blooming today: (photos after the jump) Continue reading

How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to (mostly) Love Oklahoma: A Tulsa Memoir Part 5

As noted, I tend to get going on a topic and then trail off (I never did wrap up my commentary on the Feminine Mystique; I never did follow through with all the Big Ideas I had for “This is Not a Lifestyle Blog” – but this is a blog, and there’s time!). Before it gets too far from my memory, I wanted to wrap up my series about growing up in the conservative south and my recent trip back “home.” (Read the rest here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.)

When I last wrote, I’d been pretty thoroughly alienated from mainstream culture in Tulsa by a series of extremely negative interactions with conservative Christianity. Between that and poky grass, I was pretty much planning to get out of this place as quickly as humanly possibly. I began to elevate and romanticize the Midwest as the ideal and preferable alternative to the south. By age 15, I was using road atlases to plot an escape route and writing romance stories set on farms.

So what changed? Continue reading

Moving Out of My Grad School Office & My Academic Home

In case you’ve ignored everything we’ve written so far, I quit grad school this semester. I mean, last semester. Because the semester is over, which means… yeah. I’m done with the whole thing.

Scheduling a somewhat spontaneous, short notice road trip during the final week of the semester meant that I didn’t have a lot of time for sentimentalism while wrapping up courses, packing up my office, and turning in my key. Nevertheless, I had a bit of a lump in my throat as I hauled out boxes of books, knowing that this was likely the last time I’d walk through these hallways.

EPB houses English, Rhetoric, Philosophy, and a couple other little CLAS departments. I moved into the EPB shortly after we moved to Iowa to start grad school. EPB stands for “English Philosophy Building,” but we more lovingly refer to it as the EXTREME PARTY BUILDING!!!! Continue reading

My Trip To Tulsa, By the Numbers

1168 — miles driven.

8 — days of travel.

170 — dollars spent on gas.

-1 — fantastic landmarks on the way out of Iowa. So long, Terrible’s sign.

Continue reading