So we’re dropping Holly’s nap and it’s kind of ruining my life. The idea is that she won’t take a daytime nap, so she’ll go to bed quicker and a little earlier (between 7 and 8) and wake up at a normal human being time (like, ya know, 6 am). Instead she’s going to bed quicker and a little earlier, sleeping restlessly, and waking at the asscrack of dawn (like, ya know, 4:45).
I was going to share this awesome octopus I drew on my iPad with my new stylus, but I do not have the brainpower to configure the internet access for my iPad so that I can upload the file so that I can share it with you. I’m not up for that. I have to save up brain cells so I can do things like help late-registering students set up their schedules, and operate heavy machinery. So, I don’t have a pic for you today.
I’ve written about this before but just let me say it: I’m so beyond sick of sleeping poorly. This aggression will not stand, man.
Xurxo Martínez via Compfight
I was going to wait until Holly’s 3rd birthday to completely wean her but I’m thinking about starting now because she’s awake and yelling anyway, and then at least I’d have my boobs to myself! And I may try keeping her in her bed instead of moving her to mine because something’s got to change.
I hate sleep issues.
I leave you with a picture of sleepy sue, who isn’t resting well either, but has the option of sacking out on the couch.
Note: I wrote this yesterday morning. I’ve since recuperated, and the rest of my day wasn’t ALL bad. Sleep is important, people.
I found myself crying in an underground tunnel this morning. I also cried in a ditch and while skulking through the empty parking lot of a gravel company trying to find a shortcut to a diner. I am backed into another one of life’s little corners today, and bone-deep fatigue makes escape feel fruitless and impossible. I know I probably shouldn’t post while fatigued, but I literally have nothing else to do right now. Besides, the internet loves a good rant.
I’m not in crisis: it’s just some stupid wheel bearings on my car that need fixing, and just a dumb mistake of making the appointment to fix them in the wrong branch of the tire place in the wrong small town, on top of yet another lousy, sleepless night in a long line of lousy nights. It’s one of those little things that stands in for bigger things and makes life feel shot to hell. Continue reading
Posted in Grad School Quittas, This Is Not a Lifestyle Blog
Tagged diners, Education, fatigue, grad school, Graduate school, identity, post-academic, sleep, wheel bearings, work
My younger sister had a baby this week: a beautiful, healthy, baby girl with fuzzy hair. At our house, Margeaux is the baby, but holding my niece, I was struck immediately by two thoughts:
- Margeaux is enormous.
- I WANT A BABY.
Neither of these is exactly true, although Margeaux does have deliciously chunky baby thighs and a round tummy. Snuggling Paige, I felt a mix of longing and sadness and relief, that I won’t have those newborn moments again.
I don’t miss the sleepless nights, obviously. That kind of physical fatigue is awful, deadening. At our house, it inevitably led to middle of the night shouting matches; when Dorothy was a baby we had to institute a rule that anything we said to one another between midnight and 6 am didn’t require an apology in the morning. We recognized that when 3 am rolls around and it seems like you have been awake forever and it will be dark forever and this night will never end and this baby will never stop crying it is possible that you will shout something like “You will never understand how I feel right now! She’s not latched on to your body 24 hours a day! IT’S LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A BABY!” Continue reading
Posted in Mothering
Tagged childhood, family, fatigue, home, identity, kids, Life, marriage, motherhood, mothering, parenting, pretend play, real life, sleep, work
This is part of our 4k OR BUST post-stravaganza week! Click here to read about our exciting giveaway!
I wanted to write about fatigue. I’m writing about fatigue instead of writing the other posts that have been floating through my head. Posts tentatively titled things like:
- How Do You “Decompress” When You Hate Your Life?
- I Don’t Know Why I Bother To Write When I Know I Will Inevitably Piss Someone Off
- I’m Smarter Than All The Dumb People, and Most People Are Dumb
- Maybe My Kids Will Be Serial Killers After All
These are post titles from the dark side. The dark side of fatigue. I don’t know how I get there, but I know when I am there: I’ve crossed over from “Tired but ok” and “We just had a bad night” to “If I glare at you hard enough for asking about how I’m feeling, you will die from my eye stabbing.” Were you renting Alvin and The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked on Amazon Instant Video at 5:15 yesterday morning to keep your children from screaming? Were you up today at 4 am googling pinworm symptoms? No? Then I am violently disinterested in your perspective on life. I’m on night 6 of…. week 5 of… oh, who am I kidding? I’m on year 4 of bad nights. Continue reading