It was about this time last year that I decided that, yeah. We’re raising our daughters as non-believers, or, more accurately, free thinkers. We’re not going to teach them that there is a God (how my husband was raised), nor are we going avoid teaching them so that they’ll tacitly come to understand that there is a God (that’s kind of how it worked for me). It was a Facebook argument about Elf on the Shelf that finally did it.
Posted in Books, Mothering, Pop Culture
Tagged agnosticism, atheism, atheist children, belief, Christmas, elf on the shelf, faith, humanism, motherhood, non-believers, santa, secular, secular christmas, secular holidays, traditions
This is part 4 of my series about growing up in Oklahoma. Read parts 1, 2, and 3. I’ll actually be visiting the old homestead next week to see my HS BFF before she moves to Texas and hang with my AWESOME SISTER, so the timing is good. I’m kind of knee-deep in portfolio grading, so hang tight for more non-memoir, normal, regular stuff to resume when FINALS WEEK IS OVERRRR.
It wasn’t just the crazy weather and freakish, Martian landscape that weirded me out about my new home. It was also church.
As a kid, no one talked to me about religion before. I mean, not even my parents openly articulated our belief system to me: I intuited, through the skills of reading and intense listening, that we were Catholic (off and on), believed in (a?) God, and therefore in Heaven. For a brief period, when we lived in South Bend, we attended church services regularly, and I even became familiar with a few hymns. But, in a very Midwestern way, religion wasn’t openly discussed or acknowledged. We absorbed it by osmosis and it was made somehow clear that religion was something you worked out through practice and a lot of sideways glancing, mumbling, and copying the people in the pew in front of you. Church was really more of something you “did,” not a group of people you knew, or a “belief.”
When we moved there, at age 11, I was a bit startled that it was a general getting-to-know-you kind of thing in Tulsa. “Where do you go to church?” or, even more strange to my ears, “Do you have a church home?” This was often the second or third question asked of me when I met someone new. Because I was completely naïve about religion in general, and about conservative, Protestant branches of Christianity in specific, I had no idea that telling people I was Catholic was akin to saying I was a Satanist. I immediately marked myself as someone in need of saving. Early in seventh grade, several of the nicest people in the world invited me to a Christian Student Bible Meeting Fellowship Fun Group, and I accepted. I mean, I was desperate for friends and I was a bit of a goody-goody. Christian kids were probably nice, right? Continue reading
Posted in Memoir, Politics & Feminism
Tagged Carman, Christian, Christianity, culture, Dr Pepper, faith, funny, God, Humor, Jesus, Lord, memoir, Oklahoma, Prayer, religion, tulsa, youth group