Lucky 2013

I never could have guessed, at this time last year, how completely different my life would look in 12 months.

On Dec 31st, 2011, I still believed I was going to comp in a few weeks. I believed that the best path forward was to finish a PhD and cross all appendages in the hope that the department I was teaching for would be able to hire me. I believed a diss was in my future. I was an adjunct.

Within 3 weeks, I quit grad school.

Within 6 weeks, I decided spur-of-the-moment to sign up for this writing workshop where I met this cool writer named Jen.

Within 8 weeks, Mama Nervosa was born.

Six months later, I had a new job, a new life.

There’s something about winter that works for me: I know a lot of people experience winter as this dark, doldrummy time (I mean, SAD is real) but for me winter is a productive time of change. My daughters were both born in winter, which makes this time of year feel sacred and special and anticipatory in a wonderful way (after all, we celebrate joyful milestones at 4 weeks and 8 weeks after Christmas!). I get into creative spurts, signing up for art or crochet classes and decorating rooms on a whim. I make big decisions.

2012 has been a monumental year for me. Pivotal, game changing. I learned so much about myself, much of it difficult. I came to grips with my depression and my many faults and weaknesses. It was intense, difficult, and full of great highs and great lows.

I expect 2013 to hold just as much growth, possibility, and novelty, but without as many deep channels of uncertainty and depression. I know I’m not out of the woods (is anyone, ever, really?) but trees are thinning out and the sky is light. Lucky 2013 is my expectation.

Happy New Year!

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2 Responses to Lucky 2013

  1. Hi Lauren. I just wanted to let you know that your blog really helped me cope with my decision to put off grad school, which was one of the pivotal decisions for me in 2012. I too am now working at a new job, which is going pretty well so far. It was scary and overwhelming at first, but I feel like things are working out for the best. Thanks for sharing your story with us, and good luck in 2013.

  2. Thanks for the lovely comment, Roger, and good luck to you!