I never could have guessed, at this time last year, how completely different my life would look in 12 months.
On Dec 31st, 2011, I still believed I was going to comp in a few weeks. I believed that the best path forward was to finish a PhD and cross all appendages in the hope that the department I was teaching for would be able to hire me. I believed a diss was in my future. I was an adjunct.
Within 3 weeks, I quit grad school.
Within 8 weeks, Mama Nervosa was born.
Six months later, I had a new job, a new life.
There’s something about winter that works for me: I know a lot of people experience winter as this dark, doldrummy time (I mean, SAD is real) but for me winter is a productive time of change. My daughters were both born in winter, which makes this time of year feel sacred and special and anticipatory in a wonderful way (after all, we celebrate joyful milestones at 4 weeks and 8 weeks after Christmas!). I get into creative spurts, signing up for art or crochet classes and decorating rooms on a whim. I make big decisions.
2012 has been a monumental year for me. Pivotal, game changing. I learned so much about myself, much of it difficult. I came to grips with my depression and my many faults and weaknesses. It was intense, difficult, and full of great highs and great lows.
I expect 2013 to hold just as much growth, possibility, and novelty, but without as many deep channels of uncertainty and depression. I know I’m not out of the woods (is anyone, ever, really?) but trees are thinning out and the sky is light. Lucky 2013 is my expectation.
Happy New Year!